(no subject)

[slybrunette]

Title: Epiphanies
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Sawyer (implied)
Word Count: 427
Rating: PG
Summary: AU, post-island. One would think that after three years together they would stop witholding things.

He watches Jack’s hands on the black and white keys of the piano, lifting and resting, hitting all the right notes to a song he doesn’t recognize yet feels familiar with.

 

Those hands save lives. They saved his.

 

Sawyer’s never seen him play before. It’s another one of the things Jack must try to hide from him, like the Nirvana CD he accidentally left in the car, or the pictures of family and friends that Sawyer’s never met, hidden in the drawer by their bed. Remnants of Jack’s life before this – before him. Concealed pieces to the puzzle that is Jack, one that he still isn’t finished putting together, and probably never will.

 

And it’s not that Jack knows everything about him, he’s more closed-off than Jack is most days, but it’s that Jack tries to hide it. Even if it’s not really intentional, it’s all subconscious on some level.

 

He thinks they’re getting too old for this. For hiding. One would think that after three years together they’d just stop withholding things. After all the shit they’ve been through in just these few years their pasts don’t seem to matter much.

 

It has to matter to Jack though, otherwise he wouldn’t have told Sawyer that he was going to the drugstore a block away from the hotel, instead of stating his true intentions. Otherwise he wouldn’t be standing here watching him, wishing that they were back upstairs in their room, tangled in crisp white sheets.

 

The melody stops abruptly as Jack hits the wrong note, and it breaks him out of his thoughts just in time to hear: “Sawyer?”

 

His eyes focus on Jack, the half-surprised, half-embarrassed look he’s giving him, but he gives no reply. He just stares straight ahead.

 

Jack looks back at the piano, seems to put something together in his mind, and says, “My mom’s quest to make me the well-rounded student. She made me take piano lessons until I was thirteen.” His hands hover over those keys briefly, before he turns back to face him. “It’s not something you really forget.”

 

There’s no hesitation accompanying that little tidbit of information, it’s just put on the table like it’s nothing. It makes Sawyer wonder if maybe it’s not that Jack’s hiding things, it’s just that Sawyer never asks. Maybe he’s afraid that then Jack will start asking him questions. Maybe he’s just never thought to ask.

 

Maybe, since he’s never had a relationship last this long, he’s starting to see problems that aren’t really there, simply because he expects them to be.

Comments

[eponine119.livejournal.com]

Funny to think Jack would be the one to hide things. And yet, he would. I love that you used piano playing Jack to highlight that point.

The last line is wonderful, and perfect for this piece.

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

For some reason the white keys on the piano was all I could think of for the prompt.

And i'm glad you like the last line, I rewrote it several times. I've been worrying myself with this for most of the day.

Thanks for reading!

[ladybeth.livejournal.com]

Another one I like:) I really like the last two paragraphs and how they sum up Sawyer's feelings. It fits what I remember of him on the show.

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Yay! See this is why I couldn't watch the whole ep(but I will next time).

And I'm glad you think it fits with his character, because I've been nervous about getting him right lately and I don't know why. It's not like I've never written him before.

Thanks for reading this!

[ladybeth.livejournal.com]

Yay! See this is why I couldn't watch the whole ep(but I will next time).

The sad part is it took me a second to figure out what you meant by that:)

If you have any questions about the episode I can answer since I've seen all of them so far.

Sawyer always seemed to be accusing people. Just his tone of voice. He was always suspect of what others did. At least in my mind.

[elise-509.livejournal.com]

This is so fantastic! I love how Sawyer thinks about Jack and hiding things in general; I definitely see their situation as Sawyer's latter theory. I don't think Jack necessarily hides things, but he doesn't go around just offering information about himself unless he's asked. When asked, he seems to be very honest and forthright about answering. That's very true of him in canon and you captured that so well here.

Oh, and Jack playing piano is just about one of my favorite things ever. :)

*loves*

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I couldn't agree more with you on that. Jack is very honest, you just have to ask the right questions I think.

Ever since I saw him on the piano in Do No Harm I knew I was going to end up using that somewhere. Guess this was it.

I'm so glad you liked this, and thanks for reading!

[halfdutch.livejournal.com]

Ahh, this was lovely, a little melancholy, a little hopeful. I like the idea that he's not sure if Jack is hiding things from him or he just needs to start asking the questions. And I always love Jack playing the piano. :)

[halfdutch.livejournal.com]

Oops, I meant to use this icon, not that it really matters! ;)

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on the piano part. And I started this off as something that was going to be angst galore so I tried to give it a bit of a hopeful ending.

I'm glad you liked this, and thanks for reading!

(And I love that icon btw)

[cmonkatiekatie.livejournal.com]

Oh this is gorgeous. And just feels right, ya know?

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you, that's really nice to hear since I wasn't necessarily sure I got them right here.

I'm glad you liked this!

[uhzoomzip.livejournal.com]

this was really great. first of all, jack playing piano!!! and i love that sawyer didn't know and worries that he's trying to hide these things from him when really he's never asked.

a nice exploration of the insecurities that can pop up after being in a relationship for a while - lovely job!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Gosh, I never realized that so many people loved Jack playing piano, lol.

And those insecurities are something we all experience I think, so why not put them in the story :)

Thanks for reading!

[gemjam.livejournal.com]

I think I'm a little bit in love with this. You did an awesome job here. I love that Sawyer starts out the story resenting Jack for hiding things, even though he hides things himself, but then he kind of comes around to the realisation that maybe Jack isn't hiding, maybe Sawyer just fails to draw him out, fails to let him know that his interest. And I also love that that failure comes from fear on Sawyer's part, fear of what Jack will want to know in return. The last line isn't overly hopeful, but I feel like maybe they can move forward with this now.

Lovely little piece and very insightful. Really nicely done.

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Thank you, you (and everyone who's replied) make me just want to write Jack/Sawyer more.

Jack isn't exactly someone who's going to tell you his life story, but he's not going to intentionally avoid telling you. Sawyer -- he isn't one who really goes into his own past at all, which makes me think he might not want questions.

I put a lot of thought into that last line, so I'm glad you thought it worked.

Again, thank you :)

[siluria]

Awwww, that's really great, and very insightful reasoning for Sawyer seeing 'issues' :)

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

[theagonyofblank.livejournal.com]

Lovely, insightful fic into Sawyer's mind. I loved the last line.

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

[inthekeyofd.livejournal.com]

Son of a B!! I thought I replied to this, please accept my sincere apologies for that.

Now..of course I LOVE TI! It's amazing how Sawyer doesn't want to hide, but Jack, I don't know if he really wants to, it's just that he doesn't offer anything, it's like you put it, he just sort of lays things there, like little snippets about himself that seem like nothing to him but really are important, I think it's partly being hurt, when someone doesn't know all that much, it's harder to get hurt, or there's a surprise so they stay interested, when all the time, they want to know more, and don't like it just being put out there like that.

I really want to give both of them a hug, lock them in a room and no one leaves until everyone finds out everything!!

Thank you so much for this, and know this, I really am terribly sorry for the late reply, I did think I did...*sigh*

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Honestly I'm surprised you found it among the masses of stuff that's been posted. I'm just glad you replied at all.

I think you're very right about part of this being about getting hurt, that it's harder to be hurt by someone if they don't know as much about you.

And I'm all for the hugging/locking them in the room.

I'm thrilled you liked this, and once again don't worry about replying late. I'm sure you're not the first person it's happened to :) It's the thought that counts anyway, right?

[bebitched.livejournal.com]

Jack is very complicated, isn't he? Funny how you'd think that the conman would be the guarded one, but considering Jack's past, it's really no wonder. Now maybe I'll send you my own Jack/piano fic to beta!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I don't think that he's guarded, I just think that he's not necessarily going to put everything out there, unless he's asked.

I totally didn't even think of yours, lol.

[bebitched.livejournal.com]

Wait... Jack or Sawyer?

Well it's only in the first scene of mine. And Jack has played the piano several times on the show so... I won't sue you for copyright just yet :)

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Jack.

Everyone has done the piano I think, so I wasn't worried about that at all.

[alliecat8.livejournal.com]

I never, ever get tired of reading about their hands -- either of them. They've both got the best hands in the world, and I could watch them do anything all day. Play the piano, hold a gun, use that healing touch of Jack's, touch each other...wait, I think I'm getting carried away. ;) But this made me happy and I know it made Queen D happy, because not only does she love white, she loves music too, so you hit two of her favs! Lucky her, and yay for you! :)

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

LOL. I totally understand your hand fetish (love your icon btw), I have it too.

I'm glad it made you happy, as well as the queen as I was doing a lot of guesswork as to what she's into. It's interesting writing for people when you don't know their preferences past what they ask for in prompts.

Thanks for reading, and for the feedback, I appreciate it.

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

great exploring of Sawyer's insecurities here... lovely fic! and I love how you used the "white" prompt, original and clever!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I just figured everyone was going to use white shirts like we were supposed to so I changed things up a bit.

I'm glad you liked this!