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Dec. 24th, 2006 03:14 pmYou know it's amazing how everything bad always happens over the holidays. This past Thanksgiving a friend of my family's husband died. A day later my uncle's sister fell down the stairs and broke her neck. It put a damper on everyone's Thanksgiving. And apparently Christmas has to be ruined as well.
I have a hard time with Christmas as is. Starting when I was one year old my godparents cum aunt and uncle as I would affectionately call them, would come over on Christmas morning and we would all open presents and have breakfast together. It was one of the reasons that I loved Christmas as a child because it gave me an opportunity to see them, since I rarely did otherwise. In May 2005 my 'uncle' passed away. It hasn't been the same for me at Christmas time ever since.
This Christmas Eve morning was spent at the Alexandria Veterinary Hospital. My neighbors dog, who I've always loved and known since I was 5, died suddenly. My neighbor, who lives by herself, took him there to dispose of the body. She had no one with her so me and my mother drove there and sat with her while she said goodbye to her dog and then we had her over for a few hours so she didn't have to go back to an empty house. I of course had to leave the room because I just couldn't stand to be in the room. I don't do well with people who need emotional support, who need sympathy. I have friends that expect that from me and I inevitably flake on them because I just can't be that person. I feel like a bad person sometimes. Today is one of those times.
There is one thing that she said that felt like deja vu. She said, "You know we make all these plans..." and just kind of trailed off. It's something like what Finn said in Grey's Anatomy, and it's a part of a song that makes me shudder. And it's true. We make plans and then they're just suddenly gone.
Sorry for being depressing here, but I just need to get it out.
I have a hard time with Christmas as is. Starting when I was one year old my godparents cum aunt and uncle as I would affectionately call them, would come over on Christmas morning and we would all open presents and have breakfast together. It was one of the reasons that I loved Christmas as a child because it gave me an opportunity to see them, since I rarely did otherwise. In May 2005 my 'uncle' passed away. It hasn't been the same for me at Christmas time ever since.
This Christmas Eve morning was spent at the Alexandria Veterinary Hospital. My neighbors dog, who I've always loved and known since I was 5, died suddenly. My neighbor, who lives by herself, took him there to dispose of the body. She had no one with her so me and my mother drove there and sat with her while she said goodbye to her dog and then we had her over for a few hours so she didn't have to go back to an empty house. I of course had to leave the room because I just couldn't stand to be in the room. I don't do well with people who need emotional support, who need sympathy. I have friends that expect that from me and I inevitably flake on them because I just can't be that person. I feel like a bad person sometimes. Today is one of those times.
There is one thing that she said that felt like deja vu. She said, "You know we make all these plans..." and just kind of trailed off. It's something like what Finn said in Grey's Anatomy, and it's a part of a song that makes me shudder. And it's true. We make plans and then they're just suddenly gone.
Sorry for being depressing here, but I just need to get it out.
