(no subject)

[slybrunette]

Title: Normal Again
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Kate Austen/Sun Kwon
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 880
Prompt: #14 - Strangers
Progress: 14/100
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost.
Author's Note: Companion piece to Dream, which was from Kate's POV. This one switches to Jack's, so same events, just a different take on the situation.

He loved her. God only knew why; she was stubborn, careless and emotionally fortified, but he did love her. Yet they were like strangers, like two boats passing in the night without scarcely a flashing light or an SOS when one was in trouble. She barely even detected that he was on the same island, none the less the same bed or even the same cave.

 

Jack didn’t know how it had happened. Once upon a time they had been in love. Can’t stand not to be around each other love. Then it all changed. It wasn’t some big event that made everything different or a huge hint to tip him off that things weren’t going the way they had before. It was the little things. Using a blanket instead of each other to keep them warm. Staying behind on treks the other wanted to lead. Solitary trips to the waterfall. Then the miniscule imperfections spread to become visible cracks, then eventually gaping holes. They drifted apart, like most people do. But they were on an island. And they lived together. Not exactly the ideal situation for giving each other time and space to figure things out.

 

It wasn’t as if they didn’t each have things to distract themselves with. Jack could always find someone who needed a medical consultation, which usually amounted to ‘no this rash isn’t anything serious’ and ‘yes, colic is completely normal for a child her age’. And Kate had taken on extra responsibilities with Sun and the garden. It had really taken off the past few years, and the fruit grove was, while still in its beginning stages, promising. Sure, he would have preferred she didn’t spend so much time there, but she was doing the responsible thing, helping in their survival and all.

 

That’s why he didn’t see the harm in checking up on them to see how the new crops were coming in. It definitely wasn’t because he was worried or jealous. Definitely. So when he came upon them, strangely off the path, he stepped closer. That’s when he realized it; that their touches and kisses weren’t those of a friend, that they weren’t deep in the jungle because they had gotten lost, that the careful claw-marks weren’t from a wild animal. It only took them quickly separating and nervously glancing at each other to confirm his suspicions: no one moves that fast in this heat unless they’re trying to hide something. Implying they did in fact have something to hide.

 

Jack stood there dumbly for as long as he could stand it, hoping that someone would speak. His mind flipped over a mental index; things she’d said, done, gestured, wondering if there was some clue. It looked at him plainly, now that he put two and two together, the bid red X that marks the blatant truth. How couldn’t he have seen it?

 

Jack realized after a moment that he was still standing, staring and in all his thought process his mouth had dropped open slightly. So he quickly brought his lips together and turned. Then he stopped, wondering if there were any words he could say, any message to relay, any objects to throw that would adequately convey what he was feeling. Never mind that he had no clue to his own thoughts at the moment. Affirming that fact, he walked in the other direction, quickly. Jack could vaguely hear Kate call his name behind him, but he didn’t stop to reply.

 

Time passes quickly when you’re lost in thought, so sooner than he expected the waves swallowed the sun and it was the deadline for making a decision. It surprised him how quickly his feet brought him to the cave, and even more so that he felt the need to go inside. Kate already lay on their bedroll, and by the tenseness of her shoulders he knew she wasn’t asleep. Her body jerked slightly when he sat down beside her, though their backs were still turned away from each other. Jack glanced behind him, frozen there.

 

He didn’t want to lie down, a sign that everything was alright, but oddly he felt no compulsion to walk away, to walk out on her. Of the two options presented, something struck Jack: maybe everything being okay wasn’t such a bad thing. If they pretended it was normal, that anything was normal, then it would be. If not from the physical act of changing what was wrong then at least by shifting their frame of reference. The next extreme that used to seem so obscene wouldn’t anymore, the topic at hand would become the norm and what they used to consider normal would become a bland version of their lives. Because who really wants to be normal? It had worked out that way with the crash, being stranded on a deserted island was hardly the twist in life any of them had expected and they had built a near-civilization here, why couldn’t work in this case? So Jack took the first step, pulling Kate closer and nestling into her hair, silently praying the bigger things in life would follow suit. If he could fall asleep like every other regular night, then maybe things would be okay. Then maybe everything could be normal again.