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Dusk had settled over the camp by the time she returned to her own shelter. People were back from the caves or the jungle in anticipation of the dark. The beach was busy, filled with people congregating together to eat their dinner, to sprawl out in the cool sand in front of the crackling fires. No one looked her way when she slipped inside, a black duffel bag in hand along with a smaller, more significant item that she put down in safekeeping as soon as she entered.

 

When she looked back up, expecting to find Jack fast asleep once more, she found that she was alone. The blanket laid out was rumpled, signs that he had indeed been there. She wasn’t just having a rather prolonged dream. It was warm to the touch, she noticed, a sign that he’d been there recently as well. Setting down the bag in her arms, she was about to go look for him when the tarp rustled and Jack slipped in.

 

“Hey,” He said, with a smile, heading back to the corner he’d previously occupied, like nothing had happened.

 

“Where were you? I told you not to go anywhere.” She asked him, taking the mothering tone usually restricted for Aaron. Then again, this was a conversation she’d once had with him too. Her son was always wandering off somewhere.

 

“I can’t stay cooped up in here all day. I do have to leave occasionally. For personal reasons.” He waited for her to pick up on his train of thought and when she finally did she flushed. Spotting the bag she brought in, he asked, “What’s that?”

 

“Your old stuff.” She said, tossing the bag towards him which he caught with ease. Quicker reflexes, she noticed. “Clothes and stuff I think. I didn’t really go through it.”

 

He unzipped the bag and rummaged through it, like he was checking to see if his recollection was correct. “This is great. Thanks. I’m surprised this stuff is still intact. Figured people would’ve gone through it by now.” She bit down on her lower lip, a nervous tick of hers, and he glanced up. “Where did you get this from?”

 

“Someone had put it aside. I guess they thought you would be coming back for it.” She lied, with a touch of regret. Reality was she had found it in Kate’s shelter, tucked away where most people wouldn’t find it unless they knew what they were looking for. Claire knew she had it. Nobody would go through Jack’s stuff—it just seemed wrong somehow—so she knew someone had to have stashed his luggage somewhere. Kate was the logical choice. “Guess they were right.”

 

He hung his head, and she sat down across from him. “Aaron’s staying with Charlie tonight but I’ve got to take him off Charlie’s hands in the morning or else he’ll start to get worried. I don’t know how good Aaron is at keeping secrets.” She hadn’t really thought this through beforehand, a fact that she regretted now.

 

“If they find out then so be it. I don’t mind Claire. I really don’t. I’m not even sure why you’re hiding me right now.” He told her.

 

“I’m hiding you because I remember what it was like for me when I came back. Everyone stared. I mean, they stared enough to begin with but after I came back…Charlie was the only one who could stand to be around me for the first few days.” She sighed, starting at the tarp that served as a wall. “If they know you’re back they are going to want to know what happened while you were gone. How you escaped. And you don’t seem to want to talk about that.”

 

Jack looked up guiltily, like he thought he was being subtler than he really was. He’d been beating around the bush every time she brought up the reasons behind his return. “I don’t want to think about that just yet.”

 

“Maybe that’s why you can’t remember them. You don’t want to. Locke says that you won’t regain your memory until you’re ready. Until you want to.” She echoed Locke’s words from earlier, surprised at how easy she found the connection.

 

“Locke? You told Locke?” He asked, incredulously. “What happened to this whole secret thing?”

 

“I didn’t tell him.” She reassured, shaking her head. “I asked him about memory loss and what could cause it. I told him I wanted to know why I lost mine. That’s when he told me that it was repression, that I was blocking it from my mind. So I think it’s along the same lines for you.” She left out the part about Locke knowing that she was using her own amnesia as a smokescreen. Locke would leave it alone unless otherwise provoked. It wasn’t necessary for Jack to know, it would just make him antsier.

 

“I want to remember, believe me.” He protested, irritated by her words. “I remembered Sawyer was sick, that he’d gotten shot.”

 

“Yeah but do you remember anything else?” She locked eyes with him and he held her gaze for a moment before he faltered. “I didn’t think so.” The words came out harsher than they were meant. Reaching into a suitcase of hers that sat along the wall, she pulled out the tiny object she’d removed from Kate’s tent and held it out for him to take.

 

Frown lines creased his forehead as he tentatively lifted the small toy airplane from her open palm. He looked at it like one would at a partially forgotten toy from childhood. The significance of it seemed to be ready and waiting on the tip of his tongue.

 

“Do you know what this is?” She asked cautiously, watching him run his fingers over the smooth wings slowly.

 

He didn’t look up at her for a long moment, keeping his focus on the small object. Concentration colored his face but recognization never came. “Whose is it?”

 

“It’s Kate’s,” she replied, still not drawing his eyes away from the plane. “And if she finds out it’s missing she’s going to go off the deep end so I’ll have to get it back soon. Before she comes back from the hike.”

 

“What does it…why does she have it?” Jack asked, rubbing at the numbers on the right wing. 5025. Claire wondered if it meant something.

 

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if anyone does. But it means something to her so I thought if anyone would know it would be you.” She reasoned, not blind to the fact that Kate had let her guard down around Jack more than any of the other survivors. “I don’t think it’s hers, I think it’s someone else’s. Someone important to her.”

 

It belonged to the man I killed.

 

Jack snapped back at that, dropping the plane into the sand with a soft plop. Her eyes flitted to his in concern, wondering what she said. “What? What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing,” he responded far too quickly to be serious. “Just put that back so you don’t get caught with it.”

 

Carefully she picked it back up, frowning. “What is it that you remember?”

 

“Nothing,” he repeated, “I don’t—just…” he trailed, looking away from her to focus his eyes elsewhere. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t want to remember. Maybe I’m not ready.” He sounded defeated, resigned to it.

 

“Jack, that’s not,” she took a deep breath, “that isn’t an option. We need you here and we need you to remember.” She was not going to all this trouble just so he could give up because he didn’t like whatever he was remembering. The Jack she knew wasn’t a quitter.

 

“Everyone was fine without me for three years. Things are running fine here. You don’t need me.” His eyes were transfixed on the tarp, where flames and shadows danced. She could make out Vincent’s form not too far outside, and she was relieved that he was the only one listening in. “If I’m really repressing these memories then there’s got to be a reason why. There had to be a good reason and maybe I should just leave well enough alone.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have come back.”

 

Claire bit her lip and leaned up against the one solid wall, knowing she wasn’t getting anywhere with him tonight. He was dead set against it for one reason or another. She looked down at the object in her hands and wondered what the plane stood for that made Jack so quick to accept defeat.

 

---

 

Hours later, and the rain that Locke had predicted was coming down in buckets outside. The sound of it didn’t affect her – she’d been stranded here for too many years to mind a little rain – but the thought of what she was hiding kept her wired. A few feet away Jack lay on his side, pretending to sleep. There was nothing for her to say so she let him keep thinking he was pulling one over on her. This was a game Aaron often played. It was startling how many parallels she could draw between her son and Jack.

 

She didn’t know what to do with him. It was becoming more and more obvious that she was in over her head. As much of a people person as she was – as good with them as she was – she still didn’t know how to handle him. She couldn’t force him to remember if he didn’t want to. Claire wished, not for the first time, that she had some sort of guidance.

 

“…always like this but you have to be so frickin’ stubborn…” her ears strained to pick up the sound. The voice was distinctly southern, Sawyer’s no doubt, but it was hard to make out full sentences over the pouring rain.

 

“He’s not always right. You’re just upset that you got wet.” Kate, fortunately, was yelling over the storm, as Claire could hear them get closer to her tent, entering into the main part of the encampment. “Guess what Sawyer, you aren’t going to melt.”

 

Claire hadn’t expected them to be back until morning but apparently the storm had forced them to find their way back to the beach. She could see Kate’s form pass by, a shadow on the tarp, and shortly after Sawyer too followed.

 

“…there something wrong?” A third voice, Sayid’s, entered into the equation. Apparently the trio didn’t care who they were waking up. Although if people could sleep through this rainstorm the shouting would pale in comparison.

 

“We were on lower ground, it flooded out,” Kate responded, and she could picture the woman’s scowl. She seemed ticked off at something, most likely Sawyer or the rain. Or both.

 

“Locke said it would rain but you –” Sawyer’s voice abruptly cut off and if Claire didn’t know better she would’ve thought Kate had thrown something at him. She’d done it twice before, both times in a desperate effort to shut him up. However now she probably had settled for aiming one of her death glares at him. That worked just as well.

 

“Dude, people are trying to sleep here,” Hurley’s voice came from one of the tents not far from hers. That seemed to quiet them down for a few moments and Claire relaxed, thinking they were probably done for the night.

 

That put a wrench in her plans. She still had Kate’s plane, and Jack was still clueless about his past experiences with them. She had hoped to have triggered his memory before they returned. No such luck. Glancing over at him he remained still, even if his body appeared locked up. Definitely not sleeping. She had half a mind to ask who he thought he was fooling but ignored the urge.

 

Overhead the crack of thunder could be heard, almost perfectly timed with Kate’s shout of, “Get out!” and Claire rolled over trying to force sleep to come.

 

---

 

“You guys sure made a lot of noise last night.” Claire began, dropping down into the damp sand by the shore just after the sun had risen. She hadn’t slept a wink. Kate was already seated there, with a pensive look on her face, eyes fixed on the waves that crashed. The ocean was angry, and Claire wondered if they should really be sitting this close to shore. “Is everything okay?”

 

Kate didn’t look at her but nodded, “Yeah. Everything’s fine.” Claire could tell by the way she bit out fine that everything was not actually fine. “He just…he’s just hard to deal with sometimes. I’ve been with too many guys like him and I didn’t think that I’d be here again. I guess old habits die hard right.”

 

Claire swallowed, noting the opening Kate had left there. It was a perfect opportunity to feel Kate out as far as her feelings toward Jack. “You thought you would end up with Jack.”

 

Finally, her head whipped around, ponytail lashing in the wind. It was most likely the first time anyone had gotten up the guts to say that name to her in a good year. Claire simply stared back at her, and watched Kate drop her eyes to the sand, leaving her question unanswered.

 

“Do you miss him?” Claire tried again, even though she knew she was pushing Kate away the more she forced the conversation. From past experience she knew that the more you tried to get into her head the quicker she built up walls around herself. The quicker she ran.

 

Kate kept her eyes on the ground, swallowing hard. “Yeah, I miss him.” Unlike her face, her tone was emotionless. “But he’s never coming back, so it doesn’t matter.” The other woman drew herself now, a sign that she was through with this conversation. Claire wasn’t about to let that deter her.

 

Up the beach, she heard a shout and she looked back in the direction the sound had come from with a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Jack!” Charlie’s voice took on a higher pitch and he yelled loud enough to wake up the entire camp. “Jack’s back!”

 

Frantically, Kate looked over at her. “You knew?” Claire’s eyes widened and she rose, ignoring Kate’s calls for her as she ran up to her tent. People were coming out of their shelters, awakened by Charlie’s shouting, made curious by the nature of the calls.

 

“Charlie, what are you doing?” She asked, coming between Charlie, who had now exited the shelter, and the entrance.

 

“Jack’s back!” He said, bouncing a bit the way Aaron did when he was a baby. “He’s right in there, in your…” he trailed and some of the cheer seemed to go out of him. “Claire?”

 

“Claire, what’s going on?” Asked Sayid’s calm voice, wary in spite of it. Half the camp was gathered, surrounding where her and Charlie stood. They all looked at her with varying degrees of confusion and accusation.

 

“I…” she started, but found herself unable to continue. What exactly was she supposed to say to them? She hadn’t planned for this. For any of this. They weren’t supposed to find out yet.

 

Behind her, the flap of her shelter opened, and she felt Jack come out, putting himself in front of her and therefore into the spotlight. There was a collective gasp from the crowd. Her eyes shifted to Kate, who was making her way towards them. Sawyer watched her too, shoulders tensed.

 

“Jack?” Kate asked, voice wavering. He just stared at her blankly, and Claire bit her lip, unable to watch this. She knew it couldn’t end well. “Jack…where…how…?” Kate was forming a lot of questions and apparently was having a hell of a time trying to figure out which ones to ask. Jack stopped regarding her, shifted his gaze elsewhere and she was just positively devastated by the lack of recognition. She was no one to him.

 

“He doesn’t remember you.” Locke spoke up, suddenly, and Claire looked his way to find him staring right back. “He’s repressed his memories of you, and I’m guessing some others. Other than Claire of course.”

 

People were looking at her again, and Jack was still quiet, overwhelmed. “He doesn’t remember you,” she addressed this to Kate, repeating Locke’s words, then adding, “Or Sawyer.”

 

Kate frowned, and Claire could see tears in her eyes. She was staring at Jack like she could make him remember her. Like she needed him to remember her. But Jack was focused elsewhere, and kind of glaring at Locke. Claire watched the older man lock eyes with Jack and when she looked back to Kate the brunette was gone. She followed Sawyer’s gaze and got a quick glimpse of Kate as she disappeared past the tree line, into the jungle.

 

“How long have you been keeping this a secret?” Sayid asked, taking on a tone that she liked even less when it was directed her way. Not that she thought he would do anything; it was more what she thought he was capable of.

 

“Since yesterday morning,” she mumbled, not quite loud enough for the entire group to hear her, though the people pertinent to this conversation could. “I found him wandering around the jungle.”

 

Sayid crossed his arms. “And you didn’t see it fit to inform us of your discovery why?” A few people echoed his sentiments, though the voices seemed disembodied and Claire couldn’t pick them out in the crowd.

 

Finally Jack ended his staring contest with Locke, deciding to put his two cents in. “Alright, Sayid, everyone, just calm down. Claire did what she thought was right here.”

 

“What gives her the authority to decide what is right or wrong? She never consulted any of us.” Locke let that one lie, the words having no visible affect on him whatsoever. Apparently the fact that she had indeed come to him, though somewhat indirectly, was worth bringing up. “We don’t even know why or how you came back. In all fairness Jack, you could be working with the Others. Worse you could be a target. If you escaped they could want you back. These are things we, all of us, need to know. So what gives her the right to keep this knowledge to herself?”

 

Locke stepped in before Jack, or Claire, could say anything to the contrary. “Sayid has a point Jack. It’s odd that, after almost three years since your disappearance, you simply show up here. It certainly raises a few questions. And for Claire to keep that from us one has to wonder what else she’s kept from us in the past, or will in the future.”

 

While Jack could obviously take a lot from Sayid, Locke didn’t have that standing with him. “You want to talk about secrets John? You really want to get into the hatch? And Boone?” Locke’s jaw tightened and, satisfied that he had shut the man up for the time being, Jack looked back to Sayid. “You can’t blame Claire for the choices she made – for split second judgments. She thought she was doing what was in my best interests. Who knows what any of you would’ve done in the same situation. Under the same pressure.”

 

Sayid never lost his strong stance, remnants of years spent in the Republican Guard, but his face softened ever so slightly and he lost some of the animosity. He turned into an attack dog automatically; it was in his nature.

 

“As far as how I got back: I escaped. I didn’t sneak away calmly either. I’m not going to go into detail about what happened while I was there, or how I left. It’s not important and, frankly, it’s not anyone’s business.” Jack continued on, and Claire was relieved that he was managing to take all the focus off of her. It meant a lot that he was throwing himself to the lions so she didn’t have to take it. “And I don’t know if they’re coming for me or not. I’m still not completely sure what they wanted from me in the first place. Why they wanted to keep me.”

 

“Us,” Sawyer corrected, stepping forward, coming right into the thick of things instead of standing in the back like he had been since this whole thing had started. She had been wondering how long it would take before he made his presence known. “What they wanted from us.”

 

Jack looked at her again, a plea for help, and she cut in. “He doesn’t know what you’re talking about. Whatever happened to the three of you – I don’t know all of it because not one of you will tell us anything – it must have turned out worse for Jack. Your body’s natural reaction to that can sometimes be to black out events, sometimes entire people. So he doesn’t know that you were taken with him. He didn’t even know you existed a day ago.”

 

“Whatever is missing from Jack’s memories will come back with time. I’m going to take the liberty of guessing that what Claire has been attempting to do during all of this is trigger his memory, in hopes that it would return before anyone knew he was back.” It worried her, not unreasonably, that he had read her like a book. And that he had done a complete 180 from barely a minute ago. “While what she did was ill advised to say the least, she had good intentions. There’s no reason to put anybody on trial.”

 

With the camp’s resident voice of authority having spoken, the group as a whole seemed to decide that maybe it was best to break up and let things be handled in a less public forum type of way. Truth was most people didn’t want to take the time to get involved in the politics of the island. Locke and Sayid made the decisions, Paulo and Nikki got in the way, Hurley informed people of the important gossip, and so on. They all had their roles now. Jack had just been dropped in the midst of that, not looking for a way in and yet gaining one anyway. Just like before.

 

Claire let out a long sigh as she watched her fellow survivors separate and disperse around the camp, hoping that the worst part of this charade was finally over. At least she didn’t have to hide anymore. They didn’t have to hide anymore, she corrected herself, feeling the strong hand that landed softly on her shoulder, tentatively, reassuringly.

 

---

 

“You can stay here as long as you need you know. I don’t want to put you out or anything.” Claire told him, later that day, eyes locked on her son who played nearby with Sun’s toddler. They were inside her shelter, although the flap was opened to let in the light and to allow for her to keep an eye on Aaron. She would’ve been outside enjoying the nice day but Jack drew stares and so he had chosen to hide away from the prying eyes. She felt bad about leaving him alone, so she too found herself cooped up in the tent.

 

Jack looked over at her, “Thanks, but I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow hopefully. You’ve got Aaron to worry about and I need something to keep me busy. Might as well focus my energies on building a new shelter, getting situated back here.” She was pleased to note that some of his business-like mentality was back. On other people it would be a bad sign, a sign that the person was ignoring all their emotions and pushing everyone away, but from what she knew of Jack that was just the way he was normally. Concerned about shelter, and food, and safety.

 

“Alright, if that’s what you want to do. Just don’t feel pressured to get out or anything.” She said, wanting him to know that she was there for him if he needed her. People would probably be pretty cautious around him both because of where he’d been and who he’d been with, the fact that he used to be their leader notwithstanding. “And don’t worry about Aaron. He likes being around people and Charlie takes him most afternoons.”

 

“You and Charlie finally…” he started, thinking out loud, before realizing himself, and ducking his head, “you two finally got together?”

 

She let out a breathy laugh, but shook her head. “No, we’re not. I mean we were for awhile but it just didn’t—” Claire found herself unable to finish her sentence because there really was no end. They worked fine, the same as they did now even. The only difference was that they weren’t physical and they didn’t sleep in the same tent. Her only issue had been that he smothered her. “There were problems,” she settled for, “and we just decided it was for the best at the time.”

 

“At the time?” Jack asked, with raised eyebrows, and a playful look on his face.

 

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still apply now.” She answered, uncomfortable with the topic, but going along with it only for his sake. When he fell silent again, instead of pushing further, she decided to switch to something less his cup of tea. “Kate’s probably going to be hanging around you a lot. Knowing her she’ll probably push until she gets what she wants. And you may not like where that leads but just try not to be too distant.” Claire felt it necessary to warn him of this, in an attempt to save pain for both parties involved.

 

Predictably, he lost his relaxed posture, and she saw his eyes find the same spot where the airplane had been hidden away last night. It still was; she hadn’t been able to sneak it back to Kate’s tent yet. “I think I may already have an idea where it’s going to lead.”

 

The tone he took gave her an idea. “The plane has something to do with her being a fugitive doesn’t it?” It was risky to ask because if she was wrong then she was introducing new information that was a harsher blow than it would be once he got a feel for Kate. But Jack had known about Kate before any of them and he hadn’t told a soul then, so it was unlikely that he would just come out and say it without knowing if it was public knowledge or not.

 

His eyes widened but then quickly returned to form, and he nodded. “It belonged to the man I killed.” Claire frowned, confused by his word choice, causing him to elaborate. “I remembered her – Kate – saying that as soon as I picked up that plane. And I just keep thinking, do I really want to remember someone like that? If it was bad enough to forget to I even want to try without thinking about the consequences of it?”

 

It was the same thing he’d said the previous night except this time it was more of a question, said openly instead of definitively. “Even though I don’t know what she did or what happened that caused you to erase her, forgetting all that for a moment, I know that she cared about you. She still does. Despite what she’s done in her past she’s a good person deep down. Take that into consideration before you write her off as someone to avoid.”

 

The thought that maybe she made him feel bad crossed her mind as she observed the various emotions flickering across his face -- regret, guilt, and finally sadness. That hadn’t been her goal. Still he nodded, “Fair enough.” It wasn’t very enthusiastic but it was a start. He started to rise, but then he stopped, finding something of interest on the name tag that was miraculously still attached to her suitcase. Her initials were tattooed on the back of it, the rest of the information upside down and hidden from him. “Claire what’s your last name?”

 

She wrinkled her nose, thinking it a funny question for him to be asking, but answering anyway. “Littleton.” Jack’s face broke into a soft smile, which he promptly tried to hide by looking away from her. “Why?”

 

He shook his head, still with the unusual smile on his face, and rose, replying. “No reason.” If ever there had been a moment in which she had realized he was a horrible liar it was this one; he was transparent. “I’m going to go talk to Sayid, see if he knows where I can get a spare tarp to rig up a shelter. I’ll be back later.”

 

“Jack,” she said, still wanting an answer, but he just walked away, glancing back quickly before shaking his head and continuing on his way. It made her curious. Why did he seem to find it so funny? Down the beach she heard her son give a yelp and she made a mental note to grill Jack for answers, just before running to her son’s aid.

Part 3

Date: 2007-03-21 03:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sapphire-child.livejournal.com
Jack knows that she's his sister from the name on her suitcase. Am I right or what?

Gawd Charlie, why'd you have to put your foot in like that? It was niteresting to see Sayid and Locke's reaction to Jack's return. You've got the relationships and roles of all of these characters clearly defined and very canon which is excellent.

Onto part three!

Date: 2007-03-21 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slybrunette.livejournal.com
Yeah, you're right, but I'm sure you've figured that out by now.

Charlie this season has been a big annoyance. I still like him but he tends to say/do the wrong things at the wrong times. Case in point.

The Jack/Locke/Sayid power struggle has always been a lovely little subplot and of course I had to get them and their reactions in there somewhere.

I'm glad I've got the characterization down. I always get worried with stories like this.

Date: 2007-03-22 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sapphire-child.livejournal.com
*win*

I agree with you on that - he's just not the sharpest crayon in the box I think and he has a habit of making the wrong choice and then wondering why everything stuffs up. Poor guy.

You do it well, especially with such a big ensemble piece. I've mostly done pieces with between 1-3 characters which are a lot easier because they're so much more intimate. there's a lot more to think about in an ensemble piece andyou do all of the characters justice which is awesome.

Date: 2007-04-16 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mikachoo108.livejournal.com
woo! jack and claire, getting all 'siblingly' on us! great chapter! (part)

Date: 2007-04-17 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slybrunette.livejournal.com
I love the sibling theory, I couldn't help it.

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