(no subject)

[slybrunette]

Title: We'll Be Playmates And Lovers And Share Our Secret World
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Kate, Tom
Word Count: 909
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Pre-island. Solace is found in the grass, sun beaming down on freckled hands, interlocked, like if he lets go she'll be gone in an instant.

First day of second grade, Kate launches herself into a tree as soon as they’re let outside for recess.

 

It doesn’t take two minutes for one of the playground monitors to start yelling at her to get down from there before she hurt herself. There’s a lot of chaos because the monitors are worried about how high up she is and the other kids crowd around the tree with more attention than they’d given any of the lessons all day.

 

Tom is the only one she really ever sees in that crowd. He’s the only one not looking at her like she might mess up her pigtails.

 

---

 

Later, on the bench they’ve stuck her on for a time out, she feels his weight drop down next to her as he asks, “Where’d you learn to climb trees like that?”

 

She drops her eyes, even if she feels a smile tug at her lips. “My dad taught me.”

 

“That’s cool.” Tom lapses into silence, even as he stays seated there, fingers curled around the wooden planks that compromise the bench, feet just touching the ground while hers don’t.

 

This will be the first comfortable silence she’s ever experienced – it won’t be the last.

 

---

 

The first time she mentions Tom to Wayne is also when she realizes that there are some things she just can’t tell Wayne.

 

He yells at her, tells her she should be less focused on boys, and that he didn’t want her hanging around Tom anymore.

 

She also learns here to just go ahead and disregard everything he says.

 

---

 

Kate doesn’t have big groups of friends.

 

The girls shun her for being too different from them; she intimidates the boys, is like competition to them. So she stays with Tom because he accepts her for who she is.

 

More importantly, he forgives her for who she is.

 

---

 

He’s there the day she decides to run away – the day she truly starts running.

 

Her mom has a black eye and Wayne leers and Kate can’t seem to tear her eyes from her shoes and her fists from tight balls.

 

She shoves enough clothes for a night and a day into her backpack, grabs that bear dad gave her when she was three, along with her toothbrush and flashlight and leaves through the window as the clock hits midnight.

 

Somehow she gets up high enough to knock on Tom’s second story bedroom window, just to say goodbye, which ends up being nothing more than goodnight.

 

Now she’s fairly sure she only did it to see if there was anyone still strong enough to tether her there.

 

---

 

Solace is found in the grass, sun beaming down on freckled hands, interlocked like if he lets go she’ll be gone in an instant.

 

He is her anchor but eventually she’ll have to drop him, carry on. He will be the first of many men to learn how this works.

 

But for now, in their grass stained clothes, the sun will smile down on them and she’ll feel like she could stay here forever.

 

---

 

Kate tells him everything. But there are some secrets that you take to the grave.

 

The bedroom door opens, a figure casting shadows, and she knows this is one of them.

 

---

 

She dreams of standing over Wayne’s bed, gun in hand. She dreams in perfect detail, the kick of the gun, blood on the bedspread, her mother’s screams.

 

Kate dreams and she wakes up to a gentle hand on her shoulder and a whisper that the bell is about to ring.

 

---

 

“I don’t understand how you can stay with someone who treats you like that.” She’s a little older, a little wiser now, but this is still her eternal question.

 

“Sometimes when you’ve been in the same situation for so long you just don’t know any better.”

 

She thinks of running away, duffel bag in hand, and realizes the major difference between Kate and her mother is that she needs her freedom.

 

---

 

The night she first kisses him it’s with tears in her eyes and strangled desperation in her voice.

 

They never talk about it, and it’s left at that.

 

---

 

Day before graduation she gets a black eye.

 

It’s the best present she could’ve asked for; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

 

---

 

Tom, the med student, preaches to her about the dangers of motorcycles the day she gets one.

 

Tom, the boy with the twinkling eyes and soft smile, the one who would have killed to take it out for a test drive, seems to have disappeared with sun-soaked summers that have long since faded away.

 

She’s losing him and she would fight for him if she didn’t know she’d leave him in the end anyway.

 

---

 

She never says goodbye.

 

Kate breathes into a pay phone, taps her fingers against the cool glass, and exhales hard when a woman answers.

 

“He’s not here; can I take a message?”

 

There’s a lot she wants to say but all of it is stilted or incriminating. It’s different when it’s not coming from her.

 

She slams the phone down in the receiver and rides away.

 

---

 

Kate likes to pretend that’s the last time she ever tried to contact him. That she let him go along with her childhood.

 

There’s a toy plane and a little boy somewhere in Iowa who has lost his father that begs to differ.

Comments

[lenina20.livejournal.com]

I love this. It really moved me and broke me and that usually doesn't happen with Kate fics, especially with Tom/Kate because I tend to hate them with a passion for some reason. But I love this. I love the progression of it and how right it felt to the character. How she grew to accept the unavoidable in here. This was great!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I always liked Tom, just for the novelty of the whole childhood sweetheart thing. Maybe I'm weird. But I'm glad you went ahead and read it anyway and you know didn't hate it. I've been dying to write this for awhile.

Glad you liked it :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

[space-dementia6.livejournal.com]

Really amazing. Your narrative and characterization are always so brilliant. I really love it.! Well Done sweetie.!:D

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks! I'm glad you liked it :)

(PS, I love your icon!)

[elise-509.livejournal.com]

This is absolutely stunning.

I loved this:

Somehow she gets up high enough to knock on Tom’s second story bedroom window, just to say goodbye, which ends up being nothing more than goodnight.

Now she’s fairly sure she only did it to see if there was anyone still strong enough to tether her there.

and this, especially:

Kate likes to pretend that’s the last time she ever tried to contact him. That she let him go along with her childhood.

There’s a toy plane and a little boy somewhere in Iowa who has lost his father that begs to differ.

It's heartbreaking that she loses him, first when he kind of outgrows her and leaves her behind, and then when his wife answers the phone, and then when she loses him for good. It feels like endless pain for her.

Beautiful piece!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you!! I think Tom probably played a major part in what went on in her youth, judging by how soon we saw flashbacks of her with him, so I've always wanted to explore that in relation to her backstory.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[raisingirl99.livejournal.com]

I loved this, from the sweetly amusing beginning to the perfect ending. I'm a big fan of the Kate/Tom friendship/pairing, and I loved the way you portrayed the progression of their relationship. I really could quote most of it to say what I especially loved, but I'll limit it to this line:

She’s losing him and she would fight for him if she didn’t know she’d leave him in the end anyway.

Thanks so much for sharing this with everyone. :)

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I've always been interested to read stuff about them, I've just never actually written any.

Anyways, I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

what a bittersweet retelling of Kate/Tom, little school sweethearts, the nice and warm relationship they have as teens but secrets, always holding them back. made me feel for Kate.. things could have been so different!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I like the whole concept of them, the dynamic that was presented. We've never really seen Kate when she was younger, and I wanted to play with that.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[aboutbunnies.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful. I loved it all, from the first image of second-grader Kate launching herself into a tree. It's so Kate, and I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Kate/Tom. The secrets she keeps from even him are haunting. How things could have been so different...

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Things could've been different. For all of them actually, but most certainly Kate. And I like that. I like exploring that.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[callisto-blake.livejournal.com]

Ok. It's not easy for me to comment this text, but I'll try, because I feel this text deserve to comment.
Ad rem. I wrote about Kate recently and when I did that, I had to think of her in many ways. I had to know why Kate is, who she is.
This text is great, because I found here very true and very "depth" Kate and I love her. There are only short scenes, I know, but in the same way there are study of personality too. Kate is complicated, damaged and so lost and you great described this. Fascinating.
But personally I think the most fascinating (and creepy) thing is your Kate in this text is my Kate in my text years before. How is that possible?

"More importantly, he forgives her for who she is."
- Is the best sentence here.

Congrats. But I still waiting for Juliet/Sayid (my second OTP in Lost last time). Please...?

[callisto-blake.livejournal.com]

*for some time now
(It should be in the end)

Oh, and I forgot. I really don't like Tom in canon and I don't like him in this text too. But I think you make him more human, less paper.

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Well thank you! I'm glad you thought it was true to character and a good overview of her personality. And hey, it could be similiar because great minds think alike ;)

Um, if I told you I was going to write more Juliet/Sayid it may have slipped my mind. I have been unable to write lately due to injury, so I'm just now getting back into the groove of things. I'll see what I can do about it soon.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!