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slybrunetteTitle: My Love For You Is Blind
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters/Pairings: Alex/Izzie, Izzie/Denny, more character centric.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 796
Summary: Post 5.11 -- three POVs on the current Alex/Izzie/Denny situation. Just because this is what they choose to see doesn't mean it's really all that's there.
There are things that Alex is willing to let slide that he wouldn’t have a year ago.
Denny, for instance. Whether she’s seeing him, or fantasizing about him, or ‘hanging out’ with him. Whether something’s really wrong or she’s just still grieving. Whatever. He ignores it, tries to make light of it; distracts an pulls tighter, because he already felt like he was competing with a dead man and this is just her confirming it (at least she told him, sits in the back of his mind – she trusts, cares, enough to tell).
And he can call this maturity, growing up, trying to be better, for her, maybe even himself, but they’re all half truths. Because this, this and her, are it for him. This either works or it doesn’t and he’s in so deep that he imagines if he gets burned this time he just isn’t going to try again. He knows himself, he knows that someone meaning enough to him to be even thinking about a future, a future with her in it, is big and new and too hard to do if it ends up being all for naught.
He loves her. He’ll take a chance on her. Because she’s been under his skin for so long it doesn’t scare him anymore.
---
Things are perfect. Somehow. In some ridiculously unrealistic way that Izzie isn’t sure is going to last very long and definitely not forever.
Because Denny’s there – really there in the seeing, hearing, touching kind of way – and it makes those days where all she could do was think about ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’ just fall away, because he’s here, sort of, and it helps her to forget and move forward. It also helps her not freak out when Alex tells her he loves her because this is the most messed up she’s ever been and it’s now that he chooses to make all these declarations and promises about never leaving and needing her in order to be better. It’s scary, because she never intended for this to happen, back years ago when all that mattered was stupid dates and pagers that didn’t work. She wanted fun, something different; she wasn’t thinking along the lines of ending up with a guy who could be missing a sensitivity chip one second and the next be the sweetest guy she’s known in a long while.
Of course then he goes and tells her he doesn’t care if she’s seeing Denny, and tells her this is all okay and bakes her a cake for her birthday, which might be the nicest thing someone’s done for her in a long time (add to that that this is nothing like Alex Karev, or at least the man his reputation dictates he is, and these are the things that make him more intriguing). He’s willing to stay, to let her have them both, and there’s this part of her that’s just incredibly grateful for that.
There’s also this part of her that thinks that if this was a different person, or even the Alex from before, she might be better off. That maybe she needs someone to force her to deal with things, instead of just glossing over it.
For now she’s going to live this life until the ground falls out from beneath her feet.
---
Denny has spent a very long time truly believing that this, coming back here for her, was for her benefit. Because if there’s ever been one thing he’s never questioned during life or death it was that he loved Izzie Stevens. He loved her and he left her, through no fault of his own, and he’d hurt her more than enough back then to think of anything but healing and redemption now.
But he watches Alex give her that cake, he watches the man accept that Denny’s still very much there, for Izzie, and push forward, and there’s a twinge of guilt that strikes him, makes him look away. For all the time that Denny’s spent trying to give Izzie reasons for why Alex isn’t worth her time, he’s starting to see that maybe the guy isn’t all that bad. Denny’s just too close to see the situation for what it is. He still stays, hovers, watches Izzie who’s so far gone now that she thinks this is the way it’s supposed to be. Her, and him, and Alex. Have your cake and eat it too, he thinks bitterly.
This really was about fixing and helping, once upon a time, and now it’s about the fact that Denny is just too selfish to let go and he knows that.
It wasn’t just Izzie who lost someone after all; she was just the only one left to tell about it.
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters/Pairings: Alex/Izzie, Izzie/Denny, more character centric.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 796
Summary: Post 5.11 -- three POVs on the current Alex/Izzie/Denny situation. Just because this is what they choose to see doesn't mean it's really all that's there.
There are things that Alex is willing to let slide that he wouldn’t have a year ago.
Denny, for instance. Whether she’s seeing him, or fantasizing about him, or ‘hanging out’ with him. Whether something’s really wrong or she’s just still grieving. Whatever. He ignores it, tries to make light of it; distracts an pulls tighter, because he already felt like he was competing with a dead man and this is just her confirming it (at least she told him, sits in the back of his mind – she trusts, cares, enough to tell).
And he can call this maturity, growing up, trying to be better, for her, maybe even himself, but they’re all half truths. Because this, this and her, are it for him. This either works or it doesn’t and he’s in so deep that he imagines if he gets burned this time he just isn’t going to try again. He knows himself, he knows that someone meaning enough to him to be even thinking about a future, a future with her in it, is big and new and too hard to do if it ends up being all for naught.
He loves her. He’ll take a chance on her. Because she’s been under his skin for so long it doesn’t scare him anymore.
---
Things are perfect. Somehow. In some ridiculously unrealistic way that Izzie isn’t sure is going to last very long and definitely not forever.
Because Denny’s there – really there in the seeing, hearing, touching kind of way – and it makes those days where all she could do was think about ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’ just fall away, because he’s here, sort of, and it helps her to forget and move forward. It also helps her not freak out when Alex tells her he loves her because this is the most messed up she’s ever been and it’s now that he chooses to make all these declarations and promises about never leaving and needing her in order to be better. It’s scary, because she never intended for this to happen, back years ago when all that mattered was stupid dates and pagers that didn’t work. She wanted fun, something different; she wasn’t thinking along the lines of ending up with a guy who could be missing a sensitivity chip one second and the next be the sweetest guy she’s known in a long while.
Of course then he goes and tells her he doesn’t care if she’s seeing Denny, and tells her this is all okay and bakes her a cake for her birthday, which might be the nicest thing someone’s done for her in a long time (add to that that this is nothing like Alex Karev, or at least the man his reputation dictates he is, and these are the things that make him more intriguing). He’s willing to stay, to let her have them both, and there’s this part of her that’s just incredibly grateful for that.
There’s also this part of her that thinks that if this was a different person, or even the Alex from before, she might be better off. That maybe she needs someone to force her to deal with things, instead of just glossing over it.
For now she’s going to live this life until the ground falls out from beneath her feet.
---
Denny has spent a very long time truly believing that this, coming back here for her, was for her benefit. Because if there’s ever been one thing he’s never questioned during life or death it was that he loved Izzie Stevens. He loved her and he left her, through no fault of his own, and he’d hurt her more than enough back then to think of anything but healing and redemption now.
But he watches Alex give her that cake, he watches the man accept that Denny’s still very much there, for Izzie, and push forward, and there’s a twinge of guilt that strikes him, makes him look away. For all the time that Denny’s spent trying to give Izzie reasons for why Alex isn’t worth her time, he’s starting to see that maybe the guy isn’t all that bad. Denny’s just too close to see the situation for what it is. He still stays, hovers, watches Izzie who’s so far gone now that she thinks this is the way it’s supposed to be. Her, and him, and Alex. Have your cake and eat it too, he thinks bitterly.
This really was about fixing and helping, once upon a time, and now it’s about the fact that Denny is just too selfish to let go and he knows that.
It wasn’t just Izzie who lost someone after all; she was just the only one left to tell about it.
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 12:03 am (UTC)Writing about fictional characters being forced to become ghosts... and being actually dead serious about it (ok, bad pun)... Well, I really should go to bed now :)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 03:40 am (UTC)(I like your pun -- but i am easily amused)
I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 12:41 am (UTC)I can't stand Izzie, but I love what she's doing to Alex.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 03:41 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked this; thanks for reading and reviewing!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 01:06 am (UTC)Excellent little fic - I really liked the way you did a trio of post-ep perspectives.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 03:42 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked this; thanks for reading and reviewing!
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Date: 2009-01-12 06:11 pm (UTC)I thought I was the only one
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 01:27 am (UTC)back years ago when all that mattered was stupid dates and pagers that didn’t work.
I can't explain how much I love this line. It's beautiful
The last episode made me think that Denny is realizing how much Alex loves Izzie. He didn't annoy yesterday (and that's really something)
Well... I loved this fic, but you already know that ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 03:43 am (UTC)Denny didn't piss me off either yesterday. I don't know why. He just...didn't. Which is a first this year.
I'm glad you liked this; thanks for reading and reviewing!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 05:28 am (UTC)I love this line. Scratch that. I adore this line. This is just a great summation of Alex and how he's changed and who he is with Izzie now. That's exactly it.
(add to that that this is nothing like Alex Karev, or at least the man his reputation dictates he is, and these are the things that make him more intriguing)
Once again, you speak the truth. It's his moments of not-quite-Alex-like behavior that make him interesting and real and human.
I really, really love this fic. Not just because I love Alex and Izzie, but I love so much the way you write them together. It's like you're inside Alex's head and you're just writing down his thoughts, not speculating on what he might be thinking. And you write Izzie in a way I wish the show's writers would. You give her a reason for the insanity, and the cognition to know that it's not right, even if she doesn't particularly want to do anything about it. You write them so "real" (and yes, I realize that's not a great description, but I'm tired and barely coherent, so that's the best you're going to get LOL), and I love how they grow and learn to fit with each other and make the best of things.
*bows down in appreciation of your brilliance*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 08:28 pm (UTC)Alex is always someone I've found easy to write -- I understand a lot of where he's coming from. It helps that he might just be my second favorite character on television. So it's nice to hear that from you :)
I'm glad you liked this; thanks for reading and reviewing!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 06:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-10 08:30 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
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Date: 2009-01-11 03:59 am (UTC)Yes, that would be nice. Although somehow I fear we will have to wait till the finale to actually get any idea of what is casuing the problem, be it stress induced or some kind of physical problem.
It does slightly erk me that Alex seems to only be shown dating (and caring for) women with psychological issues.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-12 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-13 09:08 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked this; thanks for reading and reviewing!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 07:10 pm (UTC)I am in love with this line. So so much. I wish I had written it lol. It so perfectly describes Alex at this point and all of the character changes he's been going through. Very poignant.
I actually enjoyed Denny's POV, despite how annoyed I still kind of am with this whole situation. As someone else said, it made me almost feel sympathetic for him. The whole idea that he came back to help her, but now realizes he can't let her go... it's very human and sad.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-24 04:37 pm (UTC)Well, in my pre-last ep haze, Denny was pissing me off severely and my only way to ignore that is to try to rationalize him, find some way to make him seem human to me. And that was this.
I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-22 12:40 am (UTC)