(no subject)

[slybrunette]

Title: I Had No Choice But To Hear You
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Alex centric. Very mild hints of Alex/Richard. 
Word Count: 1,287
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post 4.08 - Meet Kevin Johnson. There's a lot of screaming and crying before someone finally gets a hold of her and jams a needle in her arm. A few seconds later her world starts to spin.

She watches the last two people who she has left fall to the dirt at her feet and she swears she stops breathing. Stops thinking clearly. She can’t see or think about anything other than those two bodies. It’s her fault. They’re here for her, that’s what Ben told her, that they’d be after her, looking for her.

 

So she does the only thing she can think of. She stands up, hands in the air, surrender, and tells them what they’re presumably looking for. That she’s Ben’s daughter. They’ve caught her, it’s over. She doesn’t have the will to run and try to escape. All the determination was snuffed out with their lives.

 

Leaves crunch and she can hear them coming closer, even though she can’t see them. She braces herself for foreign men with guns – these people Ben claims will be coming after him and then her.

 

What she sees are her own people, the people she’s lived with for years, and it’s with the sick feeling of betrayal in her gut that she watches Richard Alpert push his way to the forefront.

 

“Hello Alex.”

 

---

 

There’s a lot of screaming and crying before someone gets a hold of her and jams a needle into her arm. A few seconds later her world starts to spin.

 

She wakes up to one of the women, Amelia, pressing a bandage over the pinprick in her arm that must’ve been bleeding. Alex tries to sit up but Amelia presses her back down, calmly telling her, “Rest.”

 

Alex figures she has no choice but to do just that. She’s not in the position to do much of anything at this point.

 

It isn’t long before Richard pokes his head in, presumably to see if she’s awake, finding her as such. He clears his throat before asking, “Amelia, do you mind stepping out for a minute.”

 

Amelia complies, abandoning her spot beside Alex. It’s a spot Richard takes momentarily, lifting a rag out of the bowl of water it had been soaking in to dab at a gash on her forehead. She jerks beneath his touch and he only looks down at her and smiles. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

 

Her voice feels hoarse as she asks, “Why did you kill them?”

 

“They can’t come here Alex; you had to have known that.” His voice is too calm, his touch too gentle to befit a killer. She’s never been able to reconcile his mannerisms with his actions. “And I wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger.”

Like that makes it any better. “Ben sent me here. He sent them here. He told me we would be safe.”

 

Richard frowns at that, sets the rag down, and falls back on his heels. Clearly he wasn’t expecting that. “Somehow I can’t see even him stooping to that level.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He knew they couldn’t come here. I don’t know why he would’ve sent them here with you.” He pauses, maybe in thought, most likely for effect. “Unless that was part of his plan.”

 

There are a lot of bad things she knows this man she calls her father has done, but there’s still a part of her that refuses to believe he would do this to her. Some part of her is praying this isn’t true, even though it’s rapidly looking more and more likely. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”

 

“Ben does a lot of things I thought he wouldn’t do.” He replies. “You aren’t the first person to be disappointed.”

 

She feels hot tears pool at her lashes but she just blinks them away. “Why would he do that?”

 

“He probably resented the attachment. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but your father is a very possessive man.” She flashes on what little Juliet once told her about the reasons for Goodwin’s death and it all starts to make a lot more sense.

 

“He...he set me up.” The ultimate betrayal, she thinks, a sentiment she must express with her eyes because Richard gives her a solemn nod.

 

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” She doesn’t know if it’s sincere or not. “Unfortunately there was nothing I could do.”

 

“You mean other than not killing them?” Alex asks, finding the anger in her sorrow, feeding off of it. Emotion has to come out somehow.

 

“Rules are rules, Alex. I can’t just change them.”

 

“What rules?” She yells back at him.

 

“Keep your voice down,” he orders and she, reluctantly, does so. “This is a place for people like us. No outsiders. Bringing them in here is too risky.”

 

“Says who?”

 

“Says people higher up than your father or me.” He tells her, with a shake of his head. “You can blame me all you want. It won’t change a thing.”

 

“I don’t blame you,” she admits quietly. He didn’t kill them, not directly, and, more importantly, he wasn’t the one who sent her here. He isn’t the one who set her up. So she can’t blame him, even though it’s easy to.

 

For a moment, Richard seems almost grateful because of it. “I don’t know why he insists on playing the games he does, especially with you. I don’t know if he’s trying to scare you into trusting him or what.”

 

“I want to kill him.” She says, gut reaction, to him and yet he doesn’t seem like he hears her. If he does he chooses not to react.

 

“He wasn’t always like this.” Alex looks up, taking note of this apparent monologue he’s got going. “The older he gets the more paranoid he gets. The less I think he should be leading these people.”

 

“Then why are you letting him?”

 

“It isn’t my call.” He’s been on his feet, pacing a bit for awhile now, but he stops now. “You seem to think I have a lot more power than I actually do.”

 

While she’s got him talking like this she’s certainly going to use it to her advantage. “I think you have more power than you’re willing to use.”

 

He must realize what she’s doing because he sits back down, “You two aren’t as different as you’d like to think.”

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She protests, shaking her head.

 

“You want revenge. That’s understandable. So the first thing you do is try to work me over.” Alex looks away from him, sits up and withdraws, curls up away from him. “It’s not your fault. It’s just the way you were raised.”

 

“I’m nothing like him.” She hisses, and that’s all she’ll say on this matter. She isn’t the same as him. She never will be.

 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

 

Alex tries to hit him, but he gets a hold of her wrist first, brings her arm back down with ease.

 

“I didn’t say you didn’t have a point.” He finishes, not at all affected by her movements. He holds onto her arm, fingers moving down to her hand, thumb pressing into the skin there ever so gently. She’d think it was unconsciously if she didn’t know him better.

 

He is right about one thing and one thing only: she wants revenge. She refuses to let their deaths be in vain. And if this man can help her get it well then she’ll do what she has to do.

 

It’s better than trying to do it by herself but, really, she better get used to being alone. With Karl and Danielle, her mother she’d just finally found only to lose again, gone, and Ben willing to do anything no matter what it’s affect on her, she’s all by herself essentially.

 

Looking at Richard, she figures she’ll take anything she can get.

 

Comments

[livefortonight.livejournal.com]

I've been waiting for an Alex fic to pop up all day. You nailed it. I'm always happy to see an update for you, this was great. :D

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I was surprised no one had written her yet after last night. I was typing this starting at like 10:10 last night though so that's probably why no one beat me to it.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[crickets.livejournal.com]

I love it! Love love! Very good! I needed a little Richard. And Alex/Richard, even hinting, even better!

Yes, I edited just to change my icon. ;)

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I couldn't get this to be shippy. It wasn't happening but I cheated and used it for my claim on them so whatever.

Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!

(And you so would. Although you're not the only one overly concerned with icons.)

[bebitched.livejournal.com]

“You mean other than not killing them?” Heh, Alex!snark.

I found this study of the Ben/Alex/Ben dynamic extremely fascinating. Great job!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I don't know why she decided to be snarky in the middle of my serious story. Go figure.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[lenina20.livejournal.com]

Is there a character you can't write? Wow. This was great. Alex's voiced was perfectly nailed and I totally love her connection with Richard and well, I just love Richard. His presence here was so perfect. I love the power play with Ben and how spot on the similarities between Alex and Ben were. The whole this is brilliant. I really liked it.

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Honestly, yes. Can't write Locke. Or Jin.

This is my other UC ship, but it wouldn't come out shippery sadly. I think a lot with the Others is a huge power play (in fact the last A/R I wrote was for the prompt Power) and I like to use that in fic.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[lenina20.livejournal.com]

You wrote Jin beautifully the other day!!! :O I really loved your Jin piece!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

That was a fluke, I swear.

[elliotsmelliot.livejournal.com]

Interesting spin on the deaths and a the welcome return of Richard. I like you stories with the two of them and Alex's awkward but cold attempts at using him. I think Richard is right, there is more than a bit of her father in her.

I also like how we use Richard. There are few characters like him that seem firmly in one court but don't inherently have a side. He's here and there, charming and cruel, if that makes any sense. Anyway you've capture his ambiguity nicely here.

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I felt the need to do some follow up to what happened in that last episode (that's what I was talking about when I said I was already ficcing). And I really want to see Richard back on this show because he seems like a very interesting character. Plus he's fine to write because, you're right, he isn't firmly on one side.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[aboutbunnies.livejournal.com]

I was hoping for some Alex fic after the last episode, and this certainly doesn't disappoint. I love how you used Richard in this. Great fic!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I really like to write Richard, I just don't do it very often, so I'm glad you liked him in this.

Thanks for reading hun!

[bachlava.livejournal.com]

Good work. This was really hard to read; it does read like something that might pop up in canon. Of course, if that turns out the case, I might not be willing to watch, but the point is you've done a terrific job here.

*Hates canon.*

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Aw, hun, I know you're upset about that, so the fact that you're even reading makes me happy. I'm glad you thought I did good with, even if it is what you don't want to happen.

Thanks for reading and reviewing hun! I really appreciate it!

[starseed4.livejournal.com]

I missed the part about this being a Lost fic and thought Grey's when I saw Alex... but then I was like Richard/Alex?!? Chief?!?! I was so confused... especially when I started reading it lol. That is when I realized my mistake.

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I really wish you were the first person who has done that...but no. Hence why I list the fandom lol.

[starseed4.livejournal.com]

lol yeah, for those of us too excited at the prospect of fanfiction to actually figure out it isn't our fandom... XD

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

that was a great exploration of Alex and how she must be feeling. I am sure she'll want revenge too. and her observations on richard (more power than he wants to use) were so spot on IMHO

great coda!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Alex got screwed -- I'm almost sure of it. And if she did I think we're going to see a dark side of her, a side that wants revenge.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[october-sky815.livejournal.com]

I loved this; it's really close to what I think will happen. Or that I would like to see happen. Only I think it would be cool if it was just Richard and his people behind this- though maybe, if you wanted to think so, I think you could say that there were hints that Richard could be lying in this story.

I really loved the ending. It sounds like something that really sets up for events to come, like something she would actually think and have to be prepared for then. I liked Richard in this too, and I think the traces of Richard/Alex worked. It wasn't too much, which was good, because then it would have just been one, weird for me, and two, taken away from the initial story. I like how he handled her being there, how he spoke about her past and tried to guide her. I can't wait to be able to see more from Richard, Alex, and even Ben in the show. Great job!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

I can't just jump into a ship that isn't developed in stories like this. It's too reliant on canon. But I do love Richard/Alex, it's one of my ships, and I love working with both of their characters.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[made-in-ink.livejournal.com]

God, I love this! This is the fic I was hoping someone would write as soon as I saw the ep.

You've really got a natural interaction going between the characters which is hard to acheive espiecially with characters that have spent so little time together on screen.

♥

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Interactions are very circumstantial, and it's not implausible for them to have this conversation if this actually happened. To me it was just logic, and felt right.

I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!

[elise-509.livejournal.com]

You've nailed Richard's voice perfectly. I always think it's amazing when someone nails a voice for a character who we haven't really seen that much. It's great work!

[slybrunette.livejournal.com]

Honestly with Richard it's all about practice. You get the hang of it eventually. I'm glad you liked this! Thanks for reading!